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Monday, 13 October 2008

A shit-hole, by any other name...

... would smell like shit.

We lucky Gautengers have a provincial minister of health in the form of comrade Brian Hlongwa. What a surprise! I didn't know we had such things - provincial ministers of health that is, not comrades.

And comrade Brian has been a busy, busy little bee, determined to make a big difference in the sphere of provincial healthcare. But like his comrades in higher office, Brian, though ever willing, is regrettably unable; super keen but mentally castrated - you get the picture. And true to form he has discovered the tried and tested method of hiding gross ineptitude: by renaming stuff!

Indeed, neither over-irked by newborns in cardboard boxes nor much perturbed by the AIDS pandemic (what pandemic?), comrade Brian has spent a year deliberating new names for three Gauteng hospitals, and I quote: "...a lengthy and exhaustive process has been followed since August 2007 to enable the name changes. These are needed to allow a clean break with a past that no right-minded person can be proud of."

So instead of the Pretoria Academic Hospital, repleat with staff 'challenges', wards overrun with dying AIDS patients and a severely anorexic budget, we now have the proud Steve Biko Academic Hospital, with staff 'challenges', wards overrun with dying AIDS patients and a severely anorexic budget.

Similarly, the Coronation Hospital in Johannesburg will become the Rahima Moosa Mother and Child Hospital, while the Johannesburg General Hospital is to be renamed the Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital.

Fuckin' brilliant, Brian! Just three more official name changes and you'll be in line for provincial premier!
I'm sure every emaciated, wide-eyed TB patient will feel such pride welling within their diseased chests that they will die content in these re-labeled former healthcare institutions, oblivious to the treatment they could have and should have had.

from Verbal Enema